Friday, December 04, 2015

Please listen carefully as our menu options have changed

Press number 1 to continue in English
Para Espanol, Oprima Numero Dos
Press number 3 for a general sense of malaise
Press number 4 if you're on the verge of committing a violent act
Press number 5 to try a free sample of our newest non dairy cheese spray
press number 6 if you feel like you have to get out but you don't know where you'd go
Press number 7 to be placed on our do not call list
Press number 8 to pull the plug
Press number 9 to be connected to a living person with compassion and understanding
Press number 0 to be disconnected

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