Poet comedian

 I'm gonna start calling myself a Poet Comedian

That's gonna be my new genre/marketing tactic

And then if you don't get the joke it's on you

You're just not deep enough

These are the emperor's new jokes! 

Don't you get 'em, you dummy?

I need a beret

Great

 Every time I try to type the word great my phone corrects it to greasy. I'm like "Phone, not that many things are greasy." And I feel like my phone is trying to tell me, "Keith, not that many things are great."